


2009, 2012, 2019, 2022

by OliveTheHobbit



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 10 years of dan and phil, 19th of October 2019, 2009, 2012, 2019, 2022, Companions through life, Domestic Fluff, Family, Flashbacks, Forever Home, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Moving, Real best friends, Reflection, actual soulmates, commitment issues, photo album
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 08:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21096137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveTheHobbit/pseuds/OliveTheHobbit
Summary: “Most people have like yearly photo books, we have this weird ass videos” - Daniel Howell, some bloopers from phil is not on fire 10.Some of the memories they gathered along the way got fresh in their minds at the moment they decided to buy a photo album.In celebration to Dan and Phil’s 10th anniversary.





	2009, 2012, 2019, 2022

**Author's Note:**

  * For [delicatehowlter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicatehowlter/gifts).

> Hi guys! Writing this was a rollercoaster. I tried to begin a month before the date, but of course, I couldn't finish in time. In fact, I finished it at 00:46 my timezone, and I was exhausted.  
I had no idea what I wanted to write because it seemed like every single fic with this ‘2009’ish vibe had been made. I even had some drafts that got absorbed by this one in the end, but, my idea changed based on the title of my phan playlist on Spotify.  
(here it is if you want to check: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6jZu9dVUljpBiIoEnT7i1Q).  
The playlist is called 2009, 2012, 2019, 2022. I got enchanted by the symmetry of the dates and here is when the idea was born.  
Written mostly in Dan’s perspective because I’m a Phillie.

_ “Most people have like yearly photo books, we have this weird ass videos” - Daniel Howell, some bloopers from phil is not on fire 10. _

  


2019

  


**T**he album had a discrete white cover since they couldn’t decide on a colour - Dan was of course on the side of plain black - and Phil entertained the idea of their future kids finding it and drawing on the clear surface.

The thought didn’t exactly appeal Dan’s need for neatness but also filled him with fond feelings. The image of tiny hands with crayons drawing a sun on top of their old memories was sweet.

Dan put the album on the trolly, with other useful stationery items, like new pens, paper for the printer and said printer’s ink. And then proceeded to change the tabs, to the department store, where there were nice pillows for sale and new towels, and a kit of saucepans Flamingo coloured, and Phil had to drag Dan’s mouse away from a ridiculously expensive black turtleneck, because he had just bought a new one, and wasn’t he the one preaching for minimalism?

Phil won, but Dan got his revenge by cracking his knuckles loudly, disgustingly. Dan sighed, he was tired, but it was a comfortable tired. His stomach was full, the sofa dent (not properly a crease) was perfectly soft around his spine, and the weather was getting colder, so he could finally be cosy.

“We need to choose the pictures we are going to put in it”. Phil said, after buying the items on the online baskets. “And we need to print them”. Dan made an unamused noise, Phil laughed and jokingly pushed Dan’s leg with his feet. 

“Don’t complain. It was your idea”. he said, to the curly-haired goblin that tried to hide by covering his head with his fluffy blanket.

“I just wanted to do a normal and I guess cute thing to remind myself of the passage of time and the way we are all getting closer and closer to death, I forgot it involved choosing pictures and printing them”. he said, voice muffled by the soft fabric around his head. “And you take forever to decide on a photo to post on Instagram, imagine this. Oh my god, what was I thinking?”

Phil laughed, soft and low. “You should tweet it. It’s dramatically on brand.”

Dan chuckled along, a little, and searched for his phone on the sofa. He quickly typed something on his notes.

“To the drafts, you go”.

He looked at Phil, that had grabbed his rose wine glass again, and was sipping it in a loud, but very sleepy drunky at homey Phil-way.

He was beautiful. Fuck, of course he was. Even when there were tiny spills of tomato sauce on his chin after the pizza, even when his hair was not in a tall quiff, but messily pushed back after a quick shower, and his glasses were hanging low on the bridge of his nose, because he couldn’t bother enough to pull them closer to his face.

Dan tried his best to not be a sap, but sometimes it was hard. 

It was, technically, their last night on the apartment they were renting. Tomorrow, by this time, they would be in their forever home.

The thought was thrilling but kinda overwhelming. To think that tomorrow the first boxes would be taken away to the beautiful house on the outskirts that they now owned, the house where they would stay forever (or at least for a good 10 years, since Dan despised moving).

It was quite the compromise for two people that always craved permanence, but were afraid of it.

They were each other’s most permanent thing, in those 10 years. Everything else they could change, discontinue or leave, peacefully.

But not each other.

Dan sighed. Well, maybe he could be just a little bit of a sap, couldn’t he? He was in love, for 10 years now, and sometimes a man has needs.

He escaped from his cocoon to slip to Phil’s side and pressed a kiss against his cheekbone.

It tickled the older man, who laughed in a high pitched tone, while Dan continued his trail of little kisses through his lover’s face, to close to his ear and then down.

“You’re like a cat”. Phil stated, and Dan, face now buried on the creak of Phil’s neck, poorly mimicked a purr. “I don’t want a cat, I already have a fish.”

Dan laughed, mouth against Phil’s pale and freckled skin. “I’m going to eat your goddamn fish”. he said, started to kiss the strawberry shower gel smelling cutis, leaving tiny bites here and there, still taking care that they wouldn’t be visible by the time the movers arrived.

For a long time, that would bother Dan. That he couldn’t fill his boyfriend up with marks that proved to the world that this man already had someone who loved him very much and very well, thank you. Sometimes, when he was feeling cheeky, he would still do it, forcing Phil to change his outfit plans for the next day.

But they were long past the point where it would bother them. Lovemarks were a thing for teenagers.

Not being able to be affectionate in any way in public, on the other hand, was more of a nuisance.

Is there anything more uncomfortable than being forced to just stare lovingly at your partner during a public gathering, or anything more pathetic than holding hands under a restaurant table?

There were a million reasons why those things happened. They were too famous and not out yet, for example, and homophobia was still a scary thing in a lot of places. But still… It was unfair.

To see all of those straight couples embracing in tourist spots. Kissing on romantic landscapes.

After 10 years, they still yearned that physical contact as much as they did when they first met.

  
  
  


_ 2009 _

  
  


_ Dan never really minded P.D.A before. When he had his girlfriend, back in his shitty town, nobody really cared if two teenagers wanted to kiss passionately in the shopping centre. Well, if those two teenagers were a boy and a girl at least. _

_ He was so anxious. His hands were shaking, and his mind was racing. A thousand questions popping up. What if he was boring in real life? What if he was uglier, smelling bad or acted like a loser? What if… _

_ At the same time, his heart was racing and he couldn’t give a damn. He was going to see Phil, for real, for the first time, in person. He was going to breathe the same air as him, the cute boy from the internet that made his legs feel like jelly and turned his stomach into knots. _

_ When the train stop, it was like he couldn’t breathe normally anymore. Even the time was moving slower. _

_ He checked his phone again while standing up. The short message said: _

  
  


_ I’m waiting for you :] _

  
  
  


_ It was enough for making his palms draw cold sweat. _

_ He stepped out of the train. _

  
  


_ Dan never really minded P.D.A before. And right now he couldn’t give a fuck. _

_ It was like he was breathing for the first time after drowning. It was like his heart was beating again, after a full-on stop. It was like the first day of his life. _

_ And Dan wasn’t normally like this. He was proud of himself for being a mildly centred, not overly emotional, sceptical guy. _

_ But, really, fuck all that. _

_ It felt… It felt like magic. And Dan didn’t believe in magic. At least, not until now. _

_ Phil’s arms were wrapped around his body in a hug neither of them was really expecting - they were in the middle of a train station, for fuck's sake! - but both needed. It wasn’t a long, passionate hug, were they waddled around embracing, unable to let go of each other. _

_ But it felt like that. _

_ Dan looked at Phil. And Phil looked at Dan. It was so good. So _

_ refreshing, after months of seeing each other through grainy screens. _

_ “Hi”. Phil said, quietly, but overwhelmed with anxiety. He looked to his shoes, and back at Dan, and played with his fringe. _

_ “Hi”. Dan said, louder, giddy, teary-eyed. He fiddled with his coat, bouncing on the heels of his feet. _

_ “So, where do you want to go first?” _

  
  


_ Anywhere with you. _

  
  


_ Dan was in love. _

_ He was so sure of it. _

_ There wasn’t a cell of his body that didn’t know it. He was in love. He was so in love he felt like he was going to explode. _

_ And… Even though it felt so obvious… He was still insecure. _

_ Yes, he was in love, but what if Phil wasn’t? What if the whole online flirting was… Just that? Friendly flirting? _

_ What if it was flirting, but it would end the minuite* Phil could get into his pants? _

_ He kept thinking that, over and over and was hard to not bite off his nails or scratch his skin at these thoughts. _

_ He tried to focus on the moment and the improbability that they would live those experiences if it was all fake. _

_ They went for lunch on Starbucks, then headed to the Apple Store, and Phil even took him to the sky bar in the Hilton hotel. _

_ The sun was setting and Dan thought his heart was going to burst. _

_ He never felt like this before. And it was so much, and so fast. _

_ And Phil kept pretending he was going to bite him or scratch him, in a cute unique little way that always made Dan melt. All he wanted right now was to let Phil touch him and to touch him back. To hug him, to grab his hand to see how good their fingers would look intertwined. _

_ He wanted to show that boy… That man… How much he loved him, how much he was grateful for everything he did till that day. _

  
  


_ Would Phil ever realize the impact he had in Dan’s life? _

_ Dan hoped so. _

  
  
  


_ When they went to the wheel, it was too much. _

_ It had been hours of being so close yet so far. The hug at the train station was all they risked. It was a big scary world for two gay guys that could barely say what they felt for each other out loud. _

_ Luckily, Dan didn’t have to say it with words. _

_ When they were coming closer to the highest spot of the Manchester Eye, the little cabin turned into their secret, happy place. _

_ Nobody could judge them there. No harsh eyes or words. No insecurity. _

_ Their foreheads were touching, brown eyes glued to blue. What were they waiting for? Dan’s lips were parted, and his breath tasted of mint, from the ones he frantically swallowed in anticipation. _

_ He closed his eyes and before he could panic and give up, he kissed him. _

  
  


_ It was right. _

_ It wasn’t just good, it was… Right. _

_ Like his whole life was taking to that moment. _

_ It was messy, as a proper first kiss. It didn’t matter how many people both kissed before, it was a restart and it was the first time they were kissing someone. Dan didn’t know exactly where to put his hands, and they teeth clashed at some point. But after that, they laughed and smiled to each other, warm faces burning red. _

_ And they kissed again. And again and again. And their feelings were fireworks going up and up in the sky, exploding into beautiful colours. _

_ They kissed for as long as they could and stopping it was like the worst torture invented by men. _

_ Even in the bus on the way back to Phil’s house, the side of their arms that were touching because of the proximity of the seats was enough to make it feel like there was electricity in the air. _

_ Hands that wanted to touch, mouths that wanted to kiss. _

_ Luckily, it was only a 30-minute ride. _

  
  
  


_ Dan couldn’t sleep. _

_ He was tired, but he couldn’t sleep. _

_ He could feel Phil’s skin against his, as close as he could be, cuddling, fast asleep. Dan felt like he could cry right now. _

_ Shit, Dan wanted so hard to cry right now. _

_ He felt safe. _

_ There, in that house up north, far away from his family and friends, in the arms of a guy he met online, he felt safe. He felt accepted. He felt like he was free to be himself for the first time. _

  


_ Maybe it was the first day of his life. _

  


_ He looked and Phil’s hands, one palm laying against his chest, the other resting around his tummy. He loved the contrast of their bodies together. Phil’s pale skin against Dan’s warm to touch, delicate hands on lanky limbs. He loved how good every single part of them looked together. _

_ They were made for each other in every possible way. And Dan really hoped everyone could see that. _

_ No, not that. Those moments were theirs. Phil was his, and his only, and what they did together was private, sacred, pure. Theirs. _

  


_ Luckily they had photos they were willing to show other people. _

  
  


2019

“How come we never printed this photo?” Dan asked, scrolling through his phone. It was 3 am, but they were still awake, despite the feast and wine they previously had. They would probably regret it tomorrow when the moving people arrived at 8 and they were grumpy, but right now they were still in the post-sex bliss, mumbling about domestic sweet nothings. 

Phil was almost falling asleep though but was still able to reply to something almost coherent. “Because you complained about the shitty quality”. he mumbled, voice sounding deep and hoarse.

"Well, nothing that sharpening tools can't solve I guess. Though I think we are going to maintain the original quality because it's memorable or whatever." Dan said, but it was mostly babbling to himself over his big smile, the one he always had when he heard Phil's voice sounding like that and remembered _ he _was the reason why.

Part of it was that same fangirling feeling that never really left him - _ oh my god it's amazingphil _\- but part of it was something else too. A feeling of freedom and resistance.

Even if part of the world thought it had a say on who he should love and who he should be, he was there. Being himself, loving and being loud and proud about it.

It certainly wasn't the case for a long, long time.

  
  


_ 2012 _

  


_ Dan woke up to the sound of masculine moans in that morning. _

_ Not the ones he wanted to hear, unfortunately. _

_ Dammit, downstairs neighbour. _

_ He rolled around on the bed, pulling the blue checkered duvet with him, and tried to muffle the sound with his pillow. _

_ He waited for the sleepy complaint 'you sheet stealer!' that was so habitual but was granted with nothing. _

_ He pulled the pillow out of his head and looked around on the empty bed and room. _

_ Phil greeted him seconds later though, rubbing his still unlensed eyes, wearing nothing but the music notes underwear. _

_ Dan loved that specific underwear for a lot of reasons. And right now, it was easy to see the main one. _

_ "Was in the bathroom". Phil explained, yawning. _

_ "Probably wasn't easy with this morning wood." Dan cheekily said. It was just a flirty banter, as they usually had, but there was something else. _

_ There was that naughty want to get down on his knees and make Phil moan, to push him into bed and compete with the guy on the first floor. _

_ But he couldn't. _

_ What if the guy complained? Posted about it online somehow? What if their fans heard about it and it ruined things with BBC? They barely could afford this rent, and he couldn't go back to his parents' house and… _

_ Maybe he was overthinking it. _

_ But lately, all he did was overthink. He even had nightmares. Things being leaked, his privacy gone. It was such a real possibility it scared him. _

_ Phil understood it with just a look like he always did. He joined him back in bed and pulled Dan close. _

_ Dan hated it. To feel so fragile. He wasn't a kid anymore, he was a proper adult, he had his place (in a way), and a job (in a way). He needed to face things like a grown-up. _

_ But how? When you feel little no energy to even fucking try. _

_ He hated feeling that way. Like a wave of emotions hitting his body and taking it all away, leaving just a rotten sad corpse. _

_ It was happening more and more recently, and Dan feared it could ruin his chances of doing something - anything - useful with his life. He was even worried about Phil. _

_ With Dan acting so pathetic and messy and just plain bad lately, what if he left? London was filled with cute boys who were so much better than he was. _

_ "You're overthinking again". Phil whispered softly while they were still embracing. _

_ "Of course I am. It's what we do, isn't it?" Dan said, in a voice that sounded way more emotional than he expected. He hugged Phil tighter. _

_ "We will fix it all". Phil whispered again. "Someday, we will move into our own place, and… You have fewer things to be stressed about." _

_ Dan felt Phil's fingers brushing against the back of his had, curling some growing hair near the back of his neck. He wanted to cry. _

_ All he wanted in life were fewer things to stress about. Right now, life was overwhelming. _

_ "OH YEAH BABY LIKE THAT UH!" _

_ screamed the neighbour. _

_ "Just promise me someday we will be able to have sex at 8 am as loud as this cunt". Dan said, laughing through his nose. It was not a simple happy laugh. There was a sad undertone to it. _

_ But Phil laughed along. And they cuddled in that horrible wicker bed, in their almost unfurnished apartment, thinking about the time in their lives where things would be different. _

  
  
  


2019

  


"Remind me why we decided to move out so quickly? I hate this so much, Phil". he complained, for the thousandth time that day, while he looked for the box where the /remote controllers/videogame 

controllers/any type of controller, really/ were supposed to go. He forgot the Blu-ray one, and now it was hanging there on his hand when he had other things to do. 

“Because we found this really good place that is not only in a good area, but has a good price and surprisingly no murders?” Phil said loudly from the kitchen where his duty was to pack the mugs and plates. “And there is the whole bathroom situation.”

“I would rather stay with the bathroom situation!” Dan complained loudly again, but he wasn’t really regretting their decision. God, he couldn’t wait to not be renting anymore. Is there anything more frustrating than looking at the place you live and feeling unable to change some features of its architecture because you don’t really own it? And of course Dan wouldn’t do it alone, but it was annoying to him, like a badly positioned window in the fricking Sims. 

There was also the fact that they were spending more money still renting than they would be buying the house anyway. And there, they could get a dog.

They were still trying to take things slowly, even with it all. Their whole moving would still take time, as there were parts of the house they were changing, adapting to their needs. The dog would have to wait for a little bit more, unfortunately. 

Dan finally found the miscellaneous controllers box and dropped the Blu-ray one there before re-routing himself to the next thing that needed his supervision. His mind was still revisiting that word though.

Commitment.

It was a funny thing to think that two men that met so early and were still together 10 years later would have a certain ingrained fear of commitment? It sounded silly in Dan’s head, but it was pretty obvious when they analyzed it through a certain angle.

Dan had some issues. It could probably because of his parents. They weren’t divorced, but that was the problem, maybe. They still weren’t divorced. It didn’t even look a marriage anymore, just… Convenience.

Maybe that was what he was so afraid of. What if he married Phil and it changed everything? It was unlikely, but still…

It was hard to not let his insecurities run over his head. He was working on it with his therapist, and, yeah, he was progressing. Like a lot of things in his life, from depression to his natural negativity, to his tendency to ignore his problems to focus on other people’s… He was getting better. Better at handling it all and understanding himself.

He was even getting better at understanding other people. Like Phil.

It sounded like an easy thing to understand the person you’ve been together for a decade, but Phil had his own complex traits. He was never the type of person to go to sleep before the end of a discussion, and if it was a serious topic, as hard as it felt, he would always try to solve it, before it turned into something worse. But, at the same time, he had the tendency of letting internal thoughts boil up with anxiety and suffer alone, without asking for help.

And, he had those commitment issues too.

It was different from Dan’s. Dan was afraid of signing up to important things and ruining it and feeling condemned to deal with it forever. He was still dealing with ghosts from past mistakes from more than 10 years ago.

Phil, on the other hand, was also afraid of feeling trapped, but for different reasons. He was afraid of not being able to let go and try new things. To change, and disappoint people or let people down, because they had an expectation. 

Similar concerns that they could somehow manage to deal with, sometimes. Ok, not just sometimes, mostly. They were able to change their contents ever so slightly to fit their current mindsets and ideas, and continued always renovating themselves, with the tours, the books and even their merch… They were able to grow.

It still was a very safe growth. And it was okay that it was, but sometimes that same fear would hit them again.

It was hard to give a break to the gaming channel. At least initially. Now, Dan knew it was for the best. Of course, **_they_** were missing it, but they hope it was understandable.

Dan’s heart was still warm from his video and all of the good things that came because of it. If he were going to die tomorrow, he would be happy with the mark he left on the earth.

Well… Ok. Some things were missing.

Maybe a lot of things, but he could start working on them now, right?

He smiled to himself, looking at the tiny square of blue velvet, hidden in a shoebox.

“What are you doing here?” Phil caught his attention. Luckily, he moved fast enough to shove the little box to its hideout. 

“Picking up some shoes, I think I can start taking the pairs I don’t use often.” he looked at his hands. “Maybe I should do a giveaway or something? I never noticed how many pairs I have.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like you could get rid of any of them. Finish it already, we got to go.”

  
  


They took their last things boxes from the apartment and now entered their new home. 

It was weird, as every new house was. Too big for their still not assembled stuff, and very unfamiliar.

There was a time in the past where Dan asked himself if he wasn’t losing something, for being with the same person since a young age, and basically being together for his whole adult life. He never lived by himself, always being surrounded by family, university colleagues and Phil.

Right now, he couldn’t feel like that. He couldn’t regret a thing. 

He shared his best years with the person he loved the most. Memories that couldn’t be kept just in the photo book they received days later.

He spent a whole afternoon printing the chosen photographies. Phil was busy enough with his own projects, and they were both pretty busy making their new place look like something different than a storage compartment, as it was filled with mostly boxes. It was hard to live up and down the town, going back and forth to get reminiscent things. The bathroom upstairs was having its tiles renovated, and Phil spent like a whole afternoon synchronizing the lights and… There was a lot of work to do, and it was hard to sneak away from it.

  


Luckily, Dan did it.

  


He was sitting on the floor of the room, his own merch notebook open, where he was risking the names of people that were already in London, or on their way. 

Everything was set up. The restaurant. The whole day program. His words.

  


Now… Onto the pictures.

He chose some from every special moment in their lives he could think of at the moment: 

Their 2010 trip to Jamaica; Them, in the Manchester apartment, near the Christmas tree they put up together; A collage of their many Muse concerts; A ton of pictures with their friends, and family (even if it was mostly pictures of Phil’s family, they had at least one, on Dan’s mum’s birthday in 2011, where they were all together in Reading. It was a nice photo, even if they all looked kinda awkward.); Photos with their audience, in different events; Secret selfies for PINOF’s and other collabs; Landscapes from different parts of the world. Sometimes, not even with their faces, or bodies, actually, present in it, but visual registration of things too beautiful to be forgotten.

The last thing Dan added was their pictures. The ones basically no one ever saw. Not as explicit or incriminating as people may have thought - it was not like technology could be fully trusted - but… Personal.

Dan sighed to himself. He really tried his best not to be a sap, but sometimes… It was almost impossible.

He closed the album before he started to tear up. He had more things to do.

He had a boyfriend to propose to in their anniversary, right?

  


_ Phil was the only person, the only thing, he wasn’t afraid to commit to. _

No second thoughts, not anymore at least.

10 years was long enough. Too long.

He was ready now.

  


They were.

  
  
  
  


**2022**

  
  


**Dan never really minded P.D.A before, but now he was all on it. There was champagne in his bloodstream, and a euphoric type of happiness he felt before, but never like that.**

**Right there, in the middle of that beautiful wedding venue, nobody really cared if two men wanted to kiss passionately. After all, they were husbands now.**

**Dan was so anxious before. His hands were shaking and his mind was racing. Even right now, right in front of Phil in the altar, he had a thousand questions. Was this the right decision? The right time? What if he screwed everything up, what if…**

**But at the same time, his heart was racing and he couldn't give a damn. He was seeing Phil, and it was like when their first met. After all those years, a single look from those swimmable eyes could make his legs tremble like jello and butterflies dance on his belly.**

**When he walked down the aisle**, arm interlocked with his mother’s, it was like he couldn’t breathe normally anymore. Even the time was moving slower.**

**But he looked at Phil. He looked at that man that he saw for the first time through a screen with awful quality, with an image captured from a camera with similar shitty calibre, in what felt like a thousand years ago.**

**It had been 12 years of looking at that man and his heart still did that flippy over thing.**

  


** _‘I’m waiting for you’_ **

  


**Phil mouthed, and then smiled. The brightest smile Dan had ever seen.**

**With sweaty palms and a trembling heart, he stepped further, into his arms. **

  
  
  
  


**Dan never really minded P.D.A before, and right now, it felt right. **

**It was like breathing a new fresh of air in a place you love. Renovating your life, your love. **

**He felt like that before, on top of a hill in the Isle of Man, far away enough from civilization, where they could actually hold hands and kiss, the wind blowing on their faces until their cheeks get red.**

**They felt like that before, showering together in a hotel in Japan. Cuddling in a king-size bed in Australia. Drinking together in a bar in Singapore. **

**What an amazing life they found themselves, huh?**

  
  


** _The world wasn’t as big and scary for those two gay guys anymore._ **

** _And they could tell what they felt out loud._ **

  
  


**Dan was a mess. He was crying, and every hug from his friends and loved ones, in general, lingered for ages. Maybe he was drunk. **

**Or maybe it was all of that. That magic day. Fuck, it was magic, wasn’t it? Or… Something. Something else.**

**He was so logical. He didn’t really believe in coincidences or fate or anything… But…**

  
  


**It felt like something that came out of a book. Or a movie. Even one goddamn fanfic. **

**Not… Not real. **

**People in real life don’t fall in love like this.**

**People in real life meet in churches, and since their families like each other, and they’re both good looking, why not? That’s what happened with his grandparents…**

**Or, or maybe they met on parties, with friends from school, in a reunion 5 years later. They drink enough to end up in a bed together, and after two years of dating, they discover that they’re accidentally expecting a baby, and they just… Get together, as his parents did. **

**People in real life, they don’t just fall in love with someone over a computer screen and text messages. It’s unrealistic, even risky to encourage.**

**And… And it seemed silly and unrealistic and…**

  
  
  


**Phil’s arms wrapped themselves against his body again, in a hug neither of them wanted to break - it would physically hurt to do so - and swung around the decorated hall. **

**“You’re overthinking again.” Phil pointed out, whispering softly while they were still embracing.**

**“Of course I am. It’s what we do, isn’t it?” Dan replied, hugging Phil tighter.**

**“Not today. Today is the end of the stress.” Phil whispered again. Oh, and thank god it was, Dan sighed. He thought planning two world tours was complicated? Just because at that point in his life he had never planned his engagement party and marriage.**

**Try to arrange passages and hotels for friends from all around the globe and be 100% each specific family member has saved the date, and... Just dealing with people in non-work related situations. Family members! You know anything more stressing than an annoying family member you don’t even know why you’re inviting??**

**At least, it was worth it. **

**Unbearably worth it.**

  
  
  


**Phil pushed Dan to dance, it was less coordinated than the one they risked before, but it was good. They hid from photos to eat and drink a bit more, they laughed, exchanging some flirty banter, as they usually did, but there was something else. **

**They got back together after a while, where Phil decided to go to the bathroom and Dan was hijacked by some friends that were taking selfies.**

**It was all definitely ending on the internet by the end of the day, he was certain. But, for the first time, he couldn’t really care. Fewer worries from now on, right?**

  
  
  


** _It was such a funny thing. To be aware of the impact you have in the world. To know that so many people felt like you helped them somehow. Maybe they got inspired because of you. Maybe the things you do make them feel stronger during a hard time. Maybe it made them smile._ **

** _Maybe they met friends. Lovers. Maybe their lives changed because you were in it._ **

** _It was a scary thought but at the same time a beautiful one._ **

** _He was grateful._ **

  
  
  


**Phil found him back. **

**Dan smiled again, even if his cheeks were burning from being so goddamn happy. He looked at Phil that was playing with his, slightly damp with sweat but still defined, curls.**

**“Hi, husband”. Phil said, quietly, like it was a word too sacred to be heard by other people, when they got closer again, a more suave song beginning. **

**“Hi, husband”. Dan said back, louder, giddy and teary-eyed. He fiddled with Phil’s tie and swayed his hips to the rhythm of the song he probably liked a lot, but couldn’t recognize right now. **

**That hug became their happy place again. But, to be honest, that whole place was. There was no judgment, no harsh looks or words. Just love, even from the people they least expected.**

**(Dan’s dad was seen talking to Nigel about Formula 1. Dan knew that his father in law couldn’t care less about sports involving cars. But he was trying. And they seemed happy.)**

**“Do you want to go now? We can leave whenever we want. It’s our day after all.” Phil said, resting his forehead against Dan’s. Brown eyes were glued to blue. **

**Not trusting his words, that were dancing on his brain and mouth trying to mimic his body sweeps, Dan just nodded positively. **

  
  
  


** _Hey, Phil… Let’s go home._ **

  
  
  


…

_ 202? _

  


_ “Oh my god, I can’t believe… Phil! Come see what your daughter did!” Dan’s obnoxiously loud voice was audible even from the backyard. _

_ Phil rolled his eyes and apologized to his Corgi Inu. _

_ “We will continue to play later, ok Thor? I need to check why your dad is screaming so much.” he scratched the back of the dog’s ears. _

_ He walked inside the house and quickly checked on Normani’s tank. The purple and pink fish blew him a bubble. _

_ He found Dan sitting in the kitchen. He had just arrived from his therapy session, and like he always did, he brought home two cups of Starbucks coffee, the classic, for them, and a choco berry doughnut for their little bug. _

_ “What happened?” Phil asked, kissing Dan’s hair, and then noticing the item on his hands. It was their original photo album, the white one they bought all these years ago. Well, previously white, as it now exhibited green and blue colours that would remind Phil of his old duvet, if it was… Giraffe-monster shaped? _

_ “When you suggested this happening, I didn’t think it would actually happen. Why weren’t you at her while she did it?” Dan asked a hurt sounding voice. _

_ “I’m sorry, I thought she had her sketchbook in hands. And Thor was throwing a fuss today.” Phil tried to explain, massaging Dan's shoulder, trying to push the tension away. _

_ Domestic life was bliss, and they knew it like no one else. Of course, they missed some things like having loud sex at 8 am, or sleeping in on the weekends, or travelling mindlessly when they wanted. But it was worth it. _

_ They loved their little girl with their whole life. And their house. And their lives, dog and fish included. _

  
  


_ He was grateful. For everything. _

_ For that cereal box. For his persistence with Youtube. For Dan’s persistence in being noticed. _

_ For their love. For their fans. _

  
  
  
  


_ “It was an improvement, you know?” he asked, pointing to the drawings. “Oh, look, they are celebrating Guy Fawkes. She really likes this holiday huh?” _

_ “Of course she does. That’s why I hate it. She keeps trying to get out attention using objects on fire. I still can’t believe your mother actually gave her sparkles last year.” Dan complained. _

_ “She loved it!” _

_ “Yes, and she almost burnt our face with it while we were kissing!” Dan complained again, voice loud and high pitched. He was exaggerating, of course. They wouldn’t leave a child unsupervised like that. _

_ But she did throw it very near their faces, and he probably should call Kath to remind her to only bring pop-it’s this time. For safety. _

_ “I’m going to talk to her.” Dan decided, in the end. “Can you bring the doughnut and my coffee to her room in 10 minutes?” _

_ Phil nodded and kissed his husband’s cheek. _

  
  
  


_ Later that night, they all sat down to see the pictures. Old memories their daughter never lived, from times way before she even dreamt of existing, when things were harder, but that made them who they were now. _

_ She commented on how much they looked like each other with the fringes and smiled seeing the familiar faces or her ‘aunties’ and ‘uncles’ in the pictures of their friends. _

_ “Is that Pearl?” she asked, pointing to the picture they took with Louise and the baby, so long ago. _

_ “Yes. She was this small, can you believe?” _

_ “Not at all!” _

_ She passed through more photos and more memories. Moments that were theirs - private, sacred, pure - and now were theirs. Something completely new. _

_ They explained to her a bit of the context. _

  
  


_ ‘This when daddy asked my hand for marriage. No, you didn’t were born back then. No, he wasn’t born too… Hey, we are not that old!’ _

_ ‘This is when we first moved here to London. No, to a different place… Do you believe we had no stuff? Yes, we slept on the floor!’ _

_ ‘This is when we met for the first time. The quality… Hey, HD is younger than you think… No, again, we are not that old!’ _

  
  


_ “Why were you pretending to be kittens so many times?” she asked, looking at the PINOF photos. _

_ They looked at each other, smiled and laughed. _

**…**

  


It felt like something out of a book.

A movie. One fanfic, if you will.

But none of those works could ever translate those feelings. Because it didn’t even sound real, but it was.

Their love, their relationship couldn’t be described by words.

Boyfriends? Friends? Roommates? Colleagues? Comedy Partners? Best Friends?

Companions through life?

Actual soulmates?

It wasn’t their jobs to define. And it isn’t our jobs to tell.

  


We’re just grateful.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ It may not be magic. It may not be fate. _

_ But it feels like it. _

**Author's Note:**

> I had to rewrite it because of the goddamn marriage theories. And thank god I did it. 
> 
> I legitimately cried writing it. It just… Felt especial. I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 
> 
> *: Dan didn’t know how to spell minute in the past ;-P  
**: There is a lot of controversy about putting Phil to ‘propose’ and to have a more ‘masculine’ role, and Dan in a more ‘feminine’ one. I hate these kinds of things, so my criteria were literally: ‘who is less probable to slip on the carpet and fall in the middle of their marriage?’ 
> 
> And now, onto the future.


End file.
